Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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