You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
