The maid of honor just puked.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
