The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
