She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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