perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I feel like death gave me a hand job
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
