happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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