Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
