dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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