The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
