So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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