every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
