have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's get the cat blown out
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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