fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
