id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
