i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
