I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i believe in u and ur pee
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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