I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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