they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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