Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize