i permit you to call me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
