similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
