No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
