Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This is not my ceiling
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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