So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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