I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
