Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
soo... how was my night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
