i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
