Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
