ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
