We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
