Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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