I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
