How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize