we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
