I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
