eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
