Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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