Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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