Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
