How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize