with your own penis?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
