everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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