She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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