We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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