Ambien. No doubt about it.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize