this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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