I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I understand Curling. That high.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
