We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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