No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
