Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
