is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
