if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
