i just had sex bonerless
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize