We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
