Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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