I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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