I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
