I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
