Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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