I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
