my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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