Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
