It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
