69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's shark week go big or go home
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
