i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
