I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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