What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
