So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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