i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
