Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
