please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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